You’ve probably had some of those aha moments when things fit together and make sense. Throughout the Master Key course the phrase the whole is greater than the sum of its parts has been used a lot. We have been doing exercises, creating new habits, sometimes doing things that seem mysterious and we have been trusting both the message and the very dedicated messengers and guides: Mark J, the Fabulous Davene and Trish.
The thing that really clicked for me this week was the Law of Least Effort
Wait – so what does this all mean?
1. Acceptance – dealing powerfully with what is so. Accepting things and people just as they are and just as they are not. This allows no space for if only, she should have, I should/shouldn’t have. It also allows no space for trying to change the people in your life.
How much effort do you spend arguing with the facts? I used to do that a lot.
Today I came home from a trip that included a short visit to one of my favorite organic supermarkets. I picked up the bag and did something to my keys that made the alarm go off. Startled, I drop the bag and broke a bottle of soy sauce. So what did I do? I spent no time in regret or frustration. I just cleaned it up. In the past I would have spent some time berating myself and then cleaned it up. I am amazed at how much less effort and wear and tear on me there is when I accept the situation. That may seem like a small example, but I see my acceptance of reality often in being with my mom and her lack of short term memory. It always helps me to realize that my mom is the way she is because that is the way she is, right now. Would I love to have the mom I loved to hang out with and go shopping with? Of course I would, but then that’s not one of my choices,
2. Responsibility. So I am 100% responsible for my actions. I wasn’t holding the bag by the handles and I dropped it. Period. Finished. No drama. Not much effort involved here once I developed the muscle to take responsibility for my actions. It’s really easier than it sounds. It has been said that for a marriage to work there has to be 100% responsibility on each partner’s part. Marriage is not a 50-50 deal.
3. Defenselessness – Relinquishing the need to defend myself is actually quite a relief and can be seen as a natural result of 1 and 2. My husband says I missed some things when I cleaned up. I say, okay I’ll do it now. No explanation, no I was busy, preoccupied or any justification. I’m responsible and I’ll take care of it. Simple, uncomplicated and takes little effort. I found that the greatest effort came in suppressing my immediate knee jerk reaction to defend myself or justify my actions. This becomes easier and easier and life becomes easier too. What I realized over time was that no one is interested in my excuses. If I late, I’m late, if I missed something I’ve missed it. Funny thing – even I am no longer interested in my excuses and now there is so much less drama in my life.
It’s amazing to me how peaceful my life has become. Is it perfect? Of course not. What all this peace has done is created space for me to reflect, be present and get into action in areas that are important to me.